Hi there.
Should anyome want to read this, a bit about me:
I'm a married guy, 42 years old, and until a few years ago never had any thoughts about other guys (in a sexula way, that is), until ..
A few years ago I was coming home from work. Rush hour. Rushing to catch the train. Arriving at the station, I had to have a piss, so I went down to the public toilets. Standing at the stall with my dick out, not looking around, and this young guy comes next to me. Obviously a young office worker, in a suit, very smart. Blonde, well built, and it seems he's been at an office party or something because he's standing at the stall reeling from side to side while he tries to have a piss. I'm next to him and worried in case he falls over. Anyway, he eventually unzips his fly and I can't help but see he has this enormous dick. I wasn't intending to look, but what with him being so drunk and everything, I was well aware as to what was going on next to me. He holds this enormous cock in his hand and tries to piss. He can't. It starts getting semi-erect, and then he looks at me. I look at him and this great big fat dick he's sholding. At that point my own dick stiffens and I can't pee any more. I stuff my own cock in my underwear and head out.
On the train home I remember every tiny moment of that. Sitting there with all the communters around me my cock hardens at the memory. And I remember it to this day.
Ever since then I have been branded with the thought of that young office worker holding his big fat cock in his hand. Why did it turn me on so much? Because even the memory of it give me a hard on . Since them I have thought about other guys and their cocks. I've never done anything about it, but would like to. I fantasise about the idea of holding a cock in my hand, just like that younf guy did in the publiv toilet mext to me. Hold his big cock for him, Feel it. Push the skin up and down, And when I feel really wicked I fantasis about putting it into my mouth.
What to do?
Once, when I was about six years into my marriage, a male friend joined my wife and I in a three-way hug. I got instantly hard and felt very uncomfortable and withdrew from the hug. Some sort of thing happened with another guy, 3 years later, and I got hard again, very uncomfortable, withdrew from the hug.
ReplyDeleteI spent a good bit of two years in my therapy trying to figure that out.
Fast forward, to 35 years into the marriage and it ends. I come out as a gay man, at age 62, having to do a lot of catch up, as I had been in denial for 62 years about my being gay.
Looking back on those two three-way hugs, it seems now that the explanation is pretty simple: the guys turned me on, and I felt that my feeling and my erection were unacceptable.
My question to you: What percentage of your masturbatory fantasies are about men? women? I think the proportion there may give some idea of where you will find your sexual -- and personal -- home.